lethal kits - old Facebook post

I spied you once upon a grocery store shelf
your tag noted "1/2 off" --- cheap eats
for $1.56 you beguiled me; a big red bag of defeat.
I hugged you close as I exited the store, promising to share my bounty
with any friend or foe
how I have come to rue the day!

I nom once upon your crunchy crunchy goodness
and think to myself what good fortune!
only 3 days hence was Valentine's Day, but yet my sweets are still quite enjoyed.

Until tonight. Oh, tonight! my tummy roared
rolled like volcanic hills under acid scorched skies
near-unbearable pains racked me front and side as I cursed your sweet chocolatey nommy hide.
so now, tis past 3 and I write of my fate
my eyes twitch as I consider your hatred
of me. Your apparently enjoyment of my wounded pride...
when will you, nommy v-day kit kat, decide
to be done with me?


Comments from FB:

DJ So that's the perp huh? Plague-infested Kit Kats. How unfair.

HPYou and your attitude!
To eat me and then leave
Am I nothing but a prelude?

But no - I will not be marginalized!...
Leave me without my other half
And your night will be spent in the bath

-The KitKat

Me Oh, you vile Kit Kat....I shall not be victim to your evils once again --- that's why I sent the rest of you to work with Reggie! Muwhahahahhahhaa!

NMB LOL...!!!

KMO Wait, are these from the same bag as the ones that were on top of the lateral file at work yesterday morning? If so, the one I ate was nommy, but happily it was not vile.

CS....That was the greatest thing I have ever read.... Rescently...

Me

Oh, nommy nommy Kit Kat I rue,
I have replaced you with something blue!
Easter Reese's cups and Hershey's kisses
Yummy yummy and non lethal for this Mrs.!